Spank-Cup
Saint Louise Was Listening On
5:37 p.m. || 2004-05-30
Bitchy, and now new and improved version 2.1 of me has a prescription for Provera/ bloodwork to be had/ fertility tests to take (why he would say go ahead and do them when he pulls out and doen't fucking want children is beyond me.) and all in all a feeling of uselessness and barreness beyond anything I have ever felt spare when I lost my daughter almost 7 years ago.
d.u.c.k.y.
I mean why would you go and get a physical and head on out to the urologist, get the smut mag, fill the spank-cup, get poked and prodded and all that, go through ALL THAT just to say "but no kids".
Maybe to prove to the girl who wants your baby that you can't have one.
I would usually say right here "all things aside" and bust on into some other aspect of my life, but there is no other. I've contemplated suicide more often than not these past two days. I don't know what is up with me being the biggest joke in the universe, but it gets old.
Everything gets so old.