the letter
Saint Louise Was Listening On
9:22 p.m. || 2004-10-16
So if I were going to write him a letter, it would go like this,
"Dear Loser,
I'm writing this as part of my constitutional amendment to be able to petition for a redress of grievances, even though you aren't Congress, I think it's safe to say you are needed in enough major decisions to make that statement applicable to you.
When is the last time you didn't take me for granted? I have no idea. When is the last time you weren't a selfish jerk in bed? I expected better of you, and have come to know you as a different kind of lover. I can't believe on some deep, moral, spiritual level, I mean literally cannot believe this has happened to you. I thought and I know you thought, you to be better than every other fuck and run dirty selfish fucker of a dude out there. Seems that there really is no difference. YOu appal me with the brevity and dispassionatness of our sex, and I am left there knowing you would rather be fucking some porn star or dim eyed slut who is "fun" and who you couldn't accidentally fuck up and get pregnant. This is why I think you're out and about cheating on me tonight. And I hate you for this. I hate you so much that sometimes when I think about you I grind my teeth and ball up my fists in rage and sometimes I even cry hot little angry, bitter tears when no one is looking. This is what you have made me, and what you will fault me for telling me that I'm crazy if I dare bring it up.
This is how emotional abuse happens. Did you know that you fucking psycho? You tell me that I'm crazy and insecure and you are a victim of my selfishness. This is some textbook shit. I read. I watch Oprah. I know.
When is the last time you weren't so self absorbed in your own life you took a look at mine? When is the last time you asked me how I'm really feeling inside?
I want to get married. I want to have your children. I want so many things from you, you unavailable, emotionally crippled man. How very sad we have become indeed.
But that's if I was going to write you a letter. Not write something here.