Fish and Satan. Getting Pregnant.
Saint Louise Was Listening On
11:25 p.m. || 2004-10-30
Clocks go back tonight. I'm so tired I am thankful for an extra hour of sleep. Bought another betta fish tonight, trying to figure what member of the trio he's worthy of being named after. He's awful beautiful. I don't know.
I've been depressed. Everyone at work is pregnant, (how could they not be?) and I'm feeling not in the loop. Julie is fantastic, and always lets me feel when her little girl is kicking. I feel my heart breaking every time. She tried for 5 years, before she went for in vitro. The other, Jill, my boss, was a big accident, and because of a rare blood disorder it's very life threatening for her. I wonder if these things, however hard or dangerous, will ever come to pass for me.
Devil's Night is the name given to this evening. The air is always still, and from what I can remember, misty. Everything about this time of year matches my heart. Black and crying.