hello. goodbye. up. down. i'm finally wrong. anyone there to hear me say it?
Saint Louise Was Listening On
8:19 p.m. || 2005-03-29
someone tell me why:
i felt the need to tear up the bar on saturday, talk a lot of shit with a girlfriend and come home as angry and unsatisfied as i have ever been.
people even come here anymore. i mean i think i've ignored or angered or estranged anyone who was even reading this, why write?
i mean if you are here i suppose you are my captive audience and you kind of have to write what i'm putting down.
who is still captive?
hello? anyone? test for echo?
ok. so my nerves are frayed, and my eye is doing that thing again. when i was a teenager it would burst a vessel, when i was just becoming a woman grown it would twitch before my nose bled, and now it does this thing where it swells up until i look like that dude from goonies.
babyruth?
fuck.
i mean really. F-u-c-k
is anyone still listening out there? does anyone still care about what happens to me? does anyone not think my suicide attempts are getting old? willing to help me out of hell? willing to let me reach out an touch them as i'm drowning?
i mean if i'm fucked up and you're (collective and unspecific you, universal "usted" "vous" type you) you're fucked up, then what harm can come of any of it? what more damage can i, we, you, etc. do?
hello? anyone out there? test for echo?