Nothingman.
Saint Louise Was Listening On
1:54 p.m. || 2004-03-26
I'm the girl ex-boyfriends talk to when they can't get laid. And I know it's because I'm easy, I'm overly sexual, and I think they hope that I'm miserable enough to ingore what I might do emotionally to another human being. And I let every single one of them do this to me, and then feel like a loser when they move on, get laid, and don't talk to me for a very long time.
I know less about my current boyfriend now than I did 2 and a half years ago.
I know when Tracey called him he said "Not right now" but not, "Not ever", and though it shouldn't be a big deal, it always has been. He kissed Jen, and told me about it and a big deal it always has been. I want him to marry me, and I can't wait to be pregnant, and he doesn't want anything to do with me, and it always has been. I wish I had enough Oxycodone left to kill myself. I don't think anyone would cry, or at least, if they did when they found out, it would be easy enough to forget about.
I always am.