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Saint Louise Was Listening On
4:43 p.m. || 2004-04-12
My computer is running so slow today. I had to get up at 4 this morning to work, and then do a floormove, promote 2 girls, demote one, and then run to the dentist to get stitches ripped out.
Joy is.
Finding that I am addicted to mrgrey's diary. I have found that this diary has sparked in me a lust for written online erotica. (Don't smile if you know me, that's annoying and rude) I sit here and read from it, and check out all the links that it takes me to, found a really cool diary for a Lifestyler but now I don't know where it went. Part of me was reading and envied her... part of me thought about the life changing a collar represents, part of me maybe even got wet thinking about it, who knows. I haven't had a really rough guy in ages, and the guy I have now is light if anything with the S&M (can you be "lightly" into S&M? I think that was an oxymoron... kind of.)
I'm way too lazy to cook myself dinner, even if it is just nuking a baked potato and some left over meatloaf. I'm too tired to eat. Do you read the Sword of Truth series? I feel like a spent Confessor, too tired to eat, or I just might puke.
I am weary too of a lot of other things, not just plain weary, which I think adds to the burden. I'm depressed and still in a little pain, and just disconnected and dissatisfied with a little bit of every area that life has to offer. I miss living at home sometimes, or maybe I just miss living in MA. I miss the fervent and fierce way Eric used to touch me and look at me. I miss all my old friends who have gone on to better lives in bigger, more exciting places, and found new best friends to fill their soul while I sit here, lonely and isolated.
I miss Lisa. Someone help me find her and save her. I'm too tired for this place.